Covenental Friendship

     In today's world, loneliness has become an epidemic in the United States. A recent study by Cigna revealed that nearly half of Americans report feeling alone or left out always or sometimes. This sense of isolation is particularly prevalent among younger generations, with Gen Z and Millennials scoring the highest on the loneliness scale. The rise of technology has undoubtedly contributed to this growing problem. While social media and instant messaging apps have made it easier to connect with people across the globe, they have also led to a decline in face-to-face interactions and genuine, deep relationships. We may have hundreds of "friends" on Facebook, but how many of them would be there for us in times of need?
    As Christians, we are called to live in community with one another. The Bible is filled with examples of the importance of meaningful friendships, from the bond between David and Jonathan to the early church in Acts. These relationships not only provide us with support and encouragement but also help us grow in our faith and become more like Christ.
    In 1 Samuel 18:1-4, we read about the friendship between David and Jonathan. Despite their different backgrounds – Jonathan was the son of King Saul, while David was a humble shepherd – the two formed an instant bond. The Scripture tells us that "the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul" (1 Samuel 18:1). This deep connection led Jonathan to make a covenant with David, promising to stand by his side no matter what. As a symbol of this commitment, Jonathan gave David his robe, armor, sword, bow, and belt – precious possessions that represented his status as a prince.
    The friendship between David and Jonathan serves as a powerful example of what it means to be a true friend. In a world where relationships are often superficial and transactional, we need to learn how to cultivate covenantal friendships that reflect the love and sacrifice of Christ. Their friendship is one of the most remarkable examples of covenantal relationships in the Bible. After David's victory over Goliath, he was brought before King Saul, and it was there that he met Saul's son, Jonathan. The Scripture tells us that "the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul" (1 Samuel 18:1). This instant bond between the two men was not based on mere compatibility or shared interests but on a deep, spiritual connection. Jonathan recognized in David a kindred spirit and a man after God's own heart. Despite their differences in status and background, they formed a friendship that would endure through both triumph and adversity.
    As a symbol of their commitment to one another, Jonathan made a covenant with David. In biblical times, covenants were solemn agreements that bound two parties together in a relationship of mutual loyalty and obligation. By making a covenant with David, Jonathan was pledging his unwavering support and devotion, even at great personal cost. Jonathan's sacrificial gifts to David further demonstrated the depth of his love and commitment. He gave David his robe, armor, sword, bow, and belt – precious possessions that represented his status as a prince and a warrior. In doing so, Jonathan was not only honoring David but also symbolically transferring his own identity and authority to him.


    So, what can we learn from the friendship between David and Jonathan about the nature of covenantal relationships? Here are four key characteristics:

Selflessness (Philippians 2:3-4)
In a covenantal friendship, both parties put the needs and interests of the other above their own. As Paul writes in Philippians 2:3-4, "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." Jonathan exemplified this selflessness by risking his own position and safety to protect and support David.
Loyalty (Proverbs 17:17)
Covenantal friends are loyal and steadfast, sticking by each other's side through both good times and bad. As Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Jonathan demonstrated his loyalty to David by defending him against Saul's jealousy and anger, even when it put him at odds with his own father.
Sacrificial Love (John 15:13)
Covenantal friendships are marked by sacrificial love, a willingness to lay down one's life for the sake of the other. As Jesus says in John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." Jonathan's love for David was so great that he was willing to give up his own claim to the throne and risk his life to protect him.
Encouragement (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
Finally, covenantal friends encourage and build each other up in the faith. As Paul exhorts in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." Jonathan encouraged David by affirming his calling and destiny, even when others doubted or opposed him.


If we want to cultivate covenantal friendships like David and Jonathan's, we need to learn how to be a friend. Here are four practical steps we can take:

Cultivating a heart of service (Galatians 5:13)
To be a good friend, we need to have a heart of service, putting the needs of others before our own. As Paul writes in Galatians 5:13, "Through love serve one another." We can cultivate this heart of service by looking for opportunities to help and support our friends, even in small ways.
Being a good listener (James 1:19)
One of the most important skills in friendship is being a good listener. As James 1:19 says, "Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger." By giving our friends our full attention and listening without judgment or interruption, we create a safe space for them to share their hearts.
Showing empathy and compassion (Colossians 3:12)
Covenantal friends show empathy and compassion, entering into each other's joys and sorrows. As Paul writes in Colossians 3:12, "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience." By seeking to understand and share in our friends' experiences, we demonstrate the love of Christ.
Forgiving and seeking forgiveness (Ephesians 4:32)
Finally, covenantal friendships require a willingness to forgive and seek forgiveness when conflicts arise. As Paul exhorts in Ephesians 4:32, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." By extending grace and mercy to our friends and humbly acknowledging our own faults, we create a foundation of trust and reconciliation.


    Cultivating covenantal friendships like David and Jonathan's is not easy, but it is one of the most rewarding and transformative experiences we can have as Christians. By learning from their example and putting these principles into practice, we can build relationships that reflect the love and faithfulness of God. In a world that is increasingly lonely and divided, such friendships are a powerful witness to the reality of the gospel and the hope that we have in Christ.